Avi drawing - A digital picture suitable for use as a Twitter avatar will be created for you by one of the following tweeters. Donations are $10 unless otherwise noted.

@FauxFawx claimed!
@OtherDanOBrien claimed!
@MrsTomServo claimed!
@ScottLinnen claimed!
@jessicarendall
@fro_vo ($20) 1 remaining
@stacybearden
@JCFart ($20)
@TheToddWilliams claimed!
@sarahjoyshockey claimed!
@dongfuture/@beansmemes (5 available)
@ZachLandgraf
@Alans_Raven (will provide in a Twitter profile header format upon request)
@OneTrickTofani
@trojansauce ($25 Your avi portrait will be accompanied by a personalized poem on spacesauce.weebly.com)

@SirEviscerate ( I'll put a puzzle piece ribbon for autism awareness on your current twitter avatar- Availability unlimited)

@doktormod

 

Tweet reading - Your tweet will be read in either an audio or video format online by one of the following tweeters. Donations are $10 - unless otherwise noted (professional voice actors & >5k accounts)

@PorkUrPine (3 available)
@tourettzgoth
@_zazzles_
@iamspacegirl ($15) (2 available)
@YourTextSpoken (professional voice actor - $30 - claimed)
@Bexdora 
@AnkCoupleTO claimed!
@jessokfine ($15) (3 available)
@ruinedpicnic ($20) (1 available)
@austvance
@TheGentlemanGit (a $25 donation will get you a YouTube video interpretation of your tweet as well!)
@flashember ($15)

@dulcetry (with Russian acccent) ($15)

@bea_ker ($15) (3 available)

@LuvPug ($25)

@BeerBatterBeard (post dental-surgery anaesthesia?) ($15)

@singwithTaffy

@radtoria

@imdaintyaf

 

Tweet illustration - The following tweeters will create an original artwork illustrating one of your tweets. All are very capable and creative, and will provide a digital copy for you to display proudly. ($25 unless otherwise noted)

@SuperTeeWhy ($40 - actual painting, acrylic on canvas)
@jessicarendall
@Jeffwni claimed!
@twoodle_05 ($40 - professional quality cartoonist) claimed!
@DancesWithTamis claimed!
@CollinwithtwoLs
@bornmiserable claimed!
@ninatreemonkey claimed!
@70Ceeks claimed!
@flashember

@notacroc

 

Multimedia event - Provide a brief topic and the one and only @davedittell will create both a tweet and a Vine on the subject, and tie the tweets and Vines together for one large project, which will be posted online. Really. 7 remaining . ($30)

@davedittell

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Custom tweet - These tweeters will dedicate a new, original tweet to you, based on your suggestion ($10)

@thetits
@therealeatwood
@flashember (will tweet about you - but as a wildebeest)

@themiltron

@TheWoodenslurpy

@MartaEffing

@NoompsyDahling

@marinhubka

@BarndogKarck

@bourgeoisalien

@Jake_Vig

@dulcetry

@Amusitr0n

@moose_chocolate (unlimited)

@notacroc

@nbadag

@AbrasiveGhost

@Phook75 (3 available)

@jordan_stratton

@Lazer_Cat (Will caption a photo of your choice)

@aka_fatman

@khook32

@QwertyJones3 (No limit)

@MUMSIesq (bad legal advice tweets)

@wickedsuga

@SortaBad

@kendragaylord

 

Dick jokes - The following tweeters will write you a personalized "________'s dick is so big" tweet. Don't have that particular anatomy? No worries! We're flexible! If you've got a body part and want the world to know how big, small, tight, round, flat, uneven, beautiful, or gross it is, we're the ones for the job. ($10 each - no limits)

@SirEviscerate
@batkaren

@buhsbaby_baby

@FuckabillyRex

@ThaJawn

 

Dog Rate - A photo of your dog with a comment and a rating will be featured on the @dog_rates Twitter account! ($60) claimed!

 

Poem - A personalized poem written for you based on a topic of your choice ($15)
@bonitannecita

@FauxFawx

@RandomAntics
@CornOnTheGoblin (song parody) 1 claimed, 1 available
@zee_gee_dee
@TheWallStBull claimed!

@HavocMantis (sonnet)

@QalPal

@iamspacegirl (poem or song parody)

@arfmeasures

@barknado69

@CurleySueView

 

Original Art - The following tweeters will create a work of digital art on your behalf as thanks for donating to a worthy cause ($25)

@pixelatedboat claimed!
@rachelle_mandik claimed!
@ninatreemonkey (Nina will make a charcoal sketch of a photo of your pet!) claimed!

@dubstep4dads (will draw an animal of your choosing with a strange caption) claimed!

@PlopWaffle - A beautiful high res pic of a person of your choice, created from words of your choice, from                    @TheMisterBenn. Click here for examples of his work. ($40) claimed!

@duunk (a faux-inspirational drawing and message) (just $10 each!)

 

Singing/music - The following musically talented tweeters will provide a brief song as thanks for your donation. They will be recorded on Vine, YouTube, or Twitter for your listening pleasure. ($30)

@rachelle_mandik (singing performance of a song from the musical Chess and a personalized message of thanks)
@constantlyjosh (song performance and a thank you message on YouTube)
@DrGhostbaby (personalized song that explains how the donor is better than most fish)
@ShanusMcAnus (euphonium arrangement of a song of your choice)
@bornmiserable (your tweet as song - accoustic guitar/singing) claimed!
@Go2slp (your tweet as song)
@realdeezyblaze (personalized rap)
@economybacon (tweet interpretation)
@radtoria (will sing a song of her choice dedicated to you, with a thank you message) claimed!
@sageboggs (A beatbox/rhyme of a topic of your choice) claimed!
@RoosterMustache (will record a 30 second guitar riff based on an interpretation of a color you provide) ($10, 2 claimed, 3 available)

@singing_ghosts (will audio record a short improvised song on a topic of your choosing) claimed!

@aardvarsk (video of a song interpretation of your tweet, accompanied on guitar or piano)

@KimmyMonte (will sing and do an interpretive dance in a video to the 80s song of your choice, with a personal dedication) claimed!

 

Account Takeover - The following tweeters will allow you to use your avatar on their account, and give you 24 hours to provide them with up to 10 tweets or RTs. They have final say on whether a tweet is too offensive or otherwise objectionable. (No, you won't get their account passwords) ($50)
@SirEviscerate
@HumanPog claimed!
@TheToddWilliams
@BlunderingIdiom

@ProdigyNelson

@SteveSuckington claimed!

@Crunk_Jews claimed!

@daemonic3 claimed!

Dad for a Day - Your dad hasn't come back yet from his quick trip for cigarettes 3 years ago? No sweat. Bucky's got your back. 24 hours of fatherly chats and sage advice from one of Twitter's best. ($50)

@BuckyIsotope claimed!

 

Twitter Girlfriend for a Day - The almost too attractive @thetigersez will provide the full girlfriend experience, from early infatuation, encouraging DMs and pics*, disturbing red flags, and the inevitable breakup, all in a 24 hour period! Brag to your mom and friends! ($30 - 5) claimed!

 

*No, not nudes, you thirsty savages.

 

Hype Man for a Day - Ever wanted a hype man for your twitter account? For 24 hours your tweeter will promote your account with retweets, photos, praise, and more. They may even be able to convince a few of their friends to help out. 
@Tommytoughstuff ($40) claimed!

@ScorpionDong ($30) claimed!

 

Hype Lady! - The crazy talented @Book_Krazy will make a t-shirt with your tweet, and wear it in her avi for a month! ($50)

 

Snapchat buddy for a  day! - @JessObsess will give you her personal snapchat name and send 5-10 snaps just for you throughout a day! ($30)

 

Twitter Feature - FrogAvalanche will do one of his famous twitter features about your account. Prize includes a custom card design, multiple RTs, requests for others to follow and send in your tweets, and more! ($25)
@FrogAvalanche (3 available) claimed!

 

Name a character in a story - Writer Glenn Loury II, whose short fiction work can be seen at http://www.beyondthepale.us/ , will use your name as a character in one of his upcoming stories. ($15)

@justabloodygame claimed!

 

Plotagonize a tweet - This guy can create a 3D CGI cartoon of your (simple, dialogue-driven) tweet. Pretty cool, right? Yeah, it is. ($25)
@plotagonist claimed!

 

Tweet Rating - The inimitable Tweeter Rater will critique one of your selected tweets. Expect an honest answer. Will you represent humanity well, or doom us all? ($15)

@TweeterRater claimed!

 

Mix Tape - A personalized Spotify playlist created for you, based on a theme of your choice ($15)

@Super_Cynthia claimed!

@alldrolledup

@behindyourback claimed!

@ScorpionDong

@LuvPug

 

Water challenge - This pretty lady will pour an entire gallon of water down her pants on video.  This totally counts when bragging to friends about making women wet.  ($30 available)

@Stellacopter

 

Vine - A personal message of thanks on Vine from one of the site's brightest and best. ($20)
@Jamie1947
@pixelatedboat claimed!

 

Podcasts
@comicnoobsshow - Know your comics and want to share your opinions? Be a guest on an upcoming episode of the Comic Noobs Show!  ($40)

@borderlinepod -The wonderful Kate, aka @ladybroseph,  will read a tweet of yours on a future episode of the much loved Borderline podcast  - ($25) claimed!

@PostCultRev - A guest spot on a future episode as a reader and/or writer. The excellent Post Culture Review podcast features dark, disturbing, and bleakly funny fiction. ($25) claimed!

 

@caililuvgirl77 will read a selection of your tweets on an upcoming Beyond the 140 podcast! ($25) claimed!

 

Fortunes/horoscopes - A bizarre or dark fortune, created for you, and you only. Unlimited availability. ($10)
@Probgoblin (will write and record his fortune) 
@botandy

@ThePatanoiac

 

Love and Dating Advice - Let a guy with zero quaifications answer you toughest questions about love, dating, and marriage. ($10 - 2 available)

@BumbleDC

 

Twitter Bio Mention - 1 month with your twitter handle and a few kind words in the bio of a talented Tweeter with a huge audience ($35)

@LuvPug claimed!

@wickedsuga

 

Happy Hour Video Chat - A fun evening at a Google Hangout video chat, hosted by the lovely @LMLMadness! ($15 - 2 different dates, 5 available each)

 

A Digital Copy of a Book

@NoompsyDahling - Author Melissa Palmer will give your a digital copy of one of her novels, Twin Oaks or A Life Less Normal ($20) (2 available)

 

Scroll animated tweets
@KalvinMacLeod will create a mini-website of your best tweets using ScrollMagic coding.  ($40)

 

Your Tweet in Real Life
@dave_cactus will assemble and photograph your tweet on the sign at his actual job. Click here for examples. Nothing offensive, please. ($25) claimed!

 

Your Twitter name on an Obvious Plant
@obviousplant_ will use your twitter handle in a future Obvious Plant, a funny and creative prank from the brain behind @pleatedjeans ($40) claimed!

 

Skype calls
@KyleMcDowell86 (2 available) Get to know the man behind the Lakitu. An hour long Skype call to hang out and have good times with Kyle! ($25)

@elizabeth_fels An evening of relaxation with Elizabeth. Connect with Skype, sit back, and relax as Eli reads you poems or a story of your choice. Byron? Keats? Dr. Seuss? Whatever calms you most. Or, let her take the reins and read something of her preference. (Bidding by silent auction - whoever DMs Elizabeth with the highest bid ($10 minimum) by noon EST on Monday, April 4, (and makes that donation) may claim the prize)

 

@SarahCubed - Disney movie night! Connect on a Skype call with Sarah, and watch a Disney classic together. Your choice! ($20) claimed!

 

1000 words of fake legal advice - We will absolutely not be held responsible for anything that happens to you as a consequence of taking this fake advice from actual lawyers. If anything, you should probably do the exact opposite. Intended for entertainment purposes only. ($25)

@lawbsterfest

@jessokfine

@unravelingfire

@LandoKardashian

 

Personalized video motivation speech - Get out there and change the world! ($10)
@BlunderingIdiom

 

Saturday Contest pick a theme
@saturdaycontest Will use a topic of your choice for an upcoming Saturday tweet contest. Check their timeline for more info! ($15)

 

Personalized video thank you
The charming and beautiful @Jenny4ashley will post a video personally thanking you for your kind donation. ($25)

 

Film Review

@aka_fatman will watch and review a film of your choice. (Pick something terrible. He'll have no choice but to sit through it.) ($15)

@tourettzgoth will watch and write a  positive review of the film of your choice, regardless of how putrid it is. Now's the chance to unleash your sadistic streak! ($15)

 

A Week of Tweet of the Day Trophies - 7 consecutive days of Favstar trophies from one of Twitter's best, @LuvPug ($30) claimed!

 

Video games - Play online with any of the following tweeters via Wii, XBox, PS, or PC. Needless to say, you should already own the game, console, and have internet access prior to making your donation. ($25)

@SirEviscerate (WiiU - Mario Kart 8, Super Smash Bros U) 3 available

@ZachLandgraf (PS4 - Last of Us, GTA 5, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Elder Scrolls Online, Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 4, Broforce)

@TheDeadfishSays (PS4 - Battlefield 4, LittleBigPlanet 3 , DC: Injustice, The Division) (WiiU -Super Smash Bros U) 

@PretendMaker (PS4 - The Division, Battlefield 4, Battlefront, GTA V)